A psychiatrist was consulted by parents of identical twins. Their parents were concerned because they seemed to have completely different attitudes. To better understand their concern he placed each twin in separate, observable, rooms. The pessimist was placed in a room filled with wonderful toys. The optimist was given a shovel and placed in a room filled with horse manure. Their reactions were then observed and recorded through a see through, one way mirror in each room. The pessimist slouched in a chair and began to cry. He didn’t even unwrap the toys. “What`s the use?” he asked glumly. “I probably won’t like what I find, and even if I do. It will only get broken, anyway.”
In the other room, with a broad grin on his face, the optimist was shoveling the manure for all he was worth. “With all this horse manure,” he declared, “there`s got to be a pony in here somewhere.”
You ask: “Why does he start this story with a joke?”
You are quite right. “Why does he start this story with a joke?”
Let me answer as simply as I can: “Life is a Joke.”
“C’mon, get serious, or I’m going to trash this whole story.”
“OK, OK, don’t get nervous, I was just trying to get your attention. Let me explain.”
Getting attention is the whole point of this story. Attention to what is important. Getting it in a way that is like the Mary Poppins song title: “A Little Bit of Sugar Helps the Medicine Go Down.” This story is about a way to look at life. A way that incorporates optimism and belief with humor to better understand and survive the painful shaping process we all encounter in life. The attention I seek to draw your focus upon is optimism. Optimism as expressed in faith.
The boy knows there is a pony somewhere in all the manure he is digging through. And he is happy in that knowledge. Sooner or later he is going to find that pony, time doesn’t matter. You don’t have to have much imagination to figure out the amount of trust in the pessimist’s life. The joke actually mirrors the attitudes of each of us as we encounter the obstacles and the joys of life. In a sense, it is our own unique set of operating instructions. Very much like a computer. Our one of a kind computer that is located in our brain.
One way of looking at life is to assume our brain takes its operating instructions from the heart. Heart, in this case, being attitude. Optimistic attitude (faith), or pessimistic (doubt). Each one has an influence in the heart. Each version of attitudes has many attributes.
One very important attribute is humor. Humor, in its own style, is ironic metaphor. It sets out harsh truths in ways that can be taken as palatable and bearable. The attitudes taken in the optimist-pessimist joke are clearly evident. So jokes can be seen as metaphoric medicine. They help us bear the truth, no matter how harsh. Jokes are humor.
How important is humor? That is a vital question. To my mind, it sits at the top of the list. How did I arrive at that valuation?
Through the study of three significant story books:
• The Bible
• The Treasury of Humor
• Irish Humor
The Bible as the story of man, is the central source of the substance of this story. Basically, a tale of repetitions of instruction and disobedience that began with Adam.
The Treasury of Humor is a book compiled by Isaac Azimov. It suggests humorous takes on all matters. It was compiled by a Jew, who, in my opinion, epitomizes Jewish humor. I select words from the back cover:
“Everything is included, from the original shaggy dog story to famous put-downs from ancient history, from the cerebral whimsies of Talmudic wit to the bawdiness of the barracks.
“Irish Humor is a book of Irish wit explained as:
“A bumper collection of the lunatic, iconoclastic, wit of the Irish.”
Back cover example: “Confession is a rare and wonderful opportunity to be able to go in and talk dirty to a stranger.”
Where we’re going with this could be summarized as: “Abie and his Irish Rose translate the Bible.” In no way is this story intended as a disrespectful interpretation of the story of man, but rather, a less complicated take. To communicate serious matters in commonly understood terminology. Respect is in no way diminished by humor. It my view it is clarified.
Jewish and Irish humor do not stand on pomposity. They are direct and real. They, to use one of my favorite phrases: “Get the hay down to where the cows are.” It incorporates a commonality of understanding that transcends complication. Translation: “Plain and simple.”
Life as spoken in plain and simple words. Instantaneous grasp. Relaxed intake. On and on. Life is basically hard. Nothing worthwhile is easy. Struggle, misunderstanding, misinterpretation, on and on, are all part of the Bible. We as people find our own stories scattered throughout the book, whatever version we may use. Those difficult elements are universal, and easily understood. The root causes are another matter. We easily see pain and suffering, but are mostly blind to what causes it all. Mainly blind because we don’t get it.
Getting it is what this approach is all about…
OK, so that issue leads to explaining the title of this story.
I made up he name Isaac Patrick to symbolize the driving forces behind those two names. He is a made-up character who, in my mind represents a significant percentage of people living on this planet. Specifically, Christians and Jews, but certainly his identity is applicable to every last human being, irrespective of their proclaimed beliefs or disbeliefs.
The name Isaac, the son of Abraham and Sarah, stands for laughter. An expression of happiness usually brought about by humor. Laughter has so many positives that they are as uncountable as the stars. I know, because my wife of 62 years was a fountain. Without her constant supply, I would have withered years ago.
Legend has it that Patrick drove the snakes from Ireland in the Sixth Century AD. Humor does not thrive when snakes are around. They are anti-humor.
So, there you have it. A story intended to be wrapped in humor and simplicity. Understandable, respected, shared, and laced with forgiveness. A story that can be viewed through the lens of humor. The humor part is cut from the same cloth as forgiveness. The humor part is a reflection of our humanity. Jewish and Irish humor is laced with it. We can be forgiven, because of it. As long as we acknowledge it, that is.
Our acknowledgement is shaped by our understanding of reality. Reality is what is, not what we wish it to be. So, right away we are into hard lessons. Learning who you really are could be perhaps the most difficult of all. Again, humor comes into play. The root of laughter lies in the ability to laugh at yourself.
One quick way,(I know from the experience of living 90 years) is to go back in your photo collection and find a picture of you from the past. Difference in hair? More? Less? Weird shape? Wrinkles? On and on.
In one of my former lives I was a public school educator. Every Columbus day in October was a holiday. I had the day off. So, what did we do? Every Columbus day in that period of my life, Jean and I would go out to a beautiful barn on the hills overlooking Canandaigua Lake and enjoy the beauty of a crisp, leaf changing, fall day. In doing that we got in the habit of photographing each other in front of the same beautiful barn, with a backdrop scene of the same lake. We did that for a number of years. Go back revisit the beautiful scene, breathe in the air, enjoy the day, and take each other’s picture.
After a time, we would get out all of our annual revisit pictures and look at them and laugh. Two reasons. One, we enjoyed the relighting of a beautiful memory, and two, we got a laugh from seeing ourselves age. Yes, the pictures had a story. A happy story, but a real story – we were getting older. We know that was what happens in life, but it was a joyful moment just to have it in a physical form, right in the here and the now. Humor was generated as a buffer for the impact of an unpleasant revelation.
Where all this is going is a constant theme throughout all of my stories. It is a theme of attitude. An attitude of positivity and trust. In a word – Hope. Hope is a key ingredient of humor. It propels us forward to do and be better. Without it we are unsettled and anxious. Humor soothes.
There is humor in the past. Humor is one form of good, and like from our stories, is like that good as found in the Bible. The problem has always been that it just lives back there, and is never brought forward. Brought forward in a relighting to show how we can use it to add to what we’re doing now to make things better.
Relighting Us is intended as such a vehicle.
This story is about life. Basically, the life of a symbolic human being who, in some sense, represents all of us. Isaac Patrick in several ways is a composite of my many background experiences and memories. My Irish heritage and my deep appreciation of Jewish and Irish humor are the main background factors that led me to create this intercultural mythical rendition of humanity.
His representation has emerged from a series of humorous stories I wrote as a participant in an Osher Institute at the Rochester Institute of Technology (RIT). I joined the writing class in April 2013, about two months after the death of my precious partner of 62 years. My joining came about as a result of my daughter Patty’s suggestion. She had a friend who had lost his wife of many years who took up writing as a way to reenter into the world of creativity and develop a rewarding activity. It helped him immensely, and Patty felt it could do the same for me. (She was right – you will see).
After joining the class, I endured several, many less than rewarding, sessions before rediscovering the magic of humor. It had always been a part of my being, but never did I need its benefits so desperately, as when I was struggling with the grief of my overwhelming loss. I had no idea I could successfully employ it in my writing. One day, for no special reason, I was prompted to take an old joke I heard from a Jewish customer of my wife’s Jewelry business and expand and embellish it into a story.
Talk about turnaround. I soon discovered that, not only was I writing funny stories, but I was having fun. The fun of creativity. I discovered that writing was a relaxing way of creating something of myself in a relaxed, yet challenging way. Yes, I don’t have a day job, and I do have lots of time. But having lots of unoccupied time can be depressing, especially when one is going through a grieving process. Better, in a situation like that to be working on something enjoyable.
I started going to libraries and using Google to research more materials for my stories (translation – steal more jokes). That’s where I came across the Irish and Jewish joke books mentioned earlier. There were and are lots more, but those two were my favorites. They fit my instincts. I wrote a whole series of joke stories, and have posted them on the Relighting Us website on the Tubabob Stories link. Have no qualms about stealing any parts or themes you can use material from any of them. One of the main objectives of the website is sharing. I would be flattered.
I believe my most important benefit came from the exercise of involving my likes and dislikes in my stories. I soon became aware that, hey, some of that behavior was me. I began to get to know myself better. I could now start to see my own flaws in a humorous light. I felt no need to hide them or be embarrassed by them, they were human flaws, and I am a human. Flaws go with the territory. Relax and laugh at them. The acknowledgement of their existence actually helps in the relaxation process. I started to get to know myself better. The more I did, the better I became. In fact it became a growth process. Imagine, a 90 year old man still growing. I kind of like it.
I like it so much it is becoming an addiction. I can’t stop doing it. I’m even beginning to like myself better. I smile more. I sleep well. All kinds of good stuff is happening to me. I behave better. I do more. Most of all I have a much greater appreciation for the gift of life than I ever had before.
I will never be a great writer. I don’t even care. If it helps me feel better then it is worth every ounce of energy I put into it. Lately, I have even been getting my jollies over writing short letters to the editor of our daily newspaper – the Democrat and Chronicle. They have published most of them. I have even had short essays published. A little word her and a little word there, and pretty soon you matter. You become a contributor.
I’m having fun…
So, where do we go with all of this?
Well, I have created two main identity characters in my stories. They are me. My Jewish identity character is a semi-buffoon named Ike (short for Isaac). My Irish semi-buffoon character is named Skibootch (Irish for “get out of here”) O’Faolain (Irish for Whelan). They are me as I see myself in humorous attire. They bumble and do a lot of exaggerated stupid stuff that I have had parallel adventures or enjoyed seeing in others, at one time or another in my life.
The crux of all this storytelling lies in what one does with his or her life. Especially the good stuff. That good stuff mostly happened in the past, and if not brought forward to the present, will stay there. Relighting Us provides the process for partnering with someone close and going back to where the good was located. Find it, share it, and bring it back to the here and the now. Its light will help one to see better. The good that was accomplished will not be wasted, and the struggle for its creation need not be reinvented.
Looking at life through the eyes of an Isaac Patrick, provides a wide and facile view of an attitude that gets the job done in a way that is less stressful and more rewarding. It is not the only attitude, there are others, and they are dealt with in other links on this website. But, this is the one I mostly use as a filter to view life.
Other attitudes are described in other links I have created, and are designed to suit the personality and likes of those comfortable with them. At the present time they are identified with the following category labels:
• The Battle Jacket
• The Dance
• The Game
These labels ae just that, labels. Each category is not discrete, and they all overlap. I find myself in each. But the emphasis will differ with each individual. I have tried to implant a general tone in each, such as humor in the Isaac Patrick Link.
The Battle Jacket link is more slanted to identity. The Dance to harmony and forgiveness, and the Game, to strategy and justice. They all cross over to each other, and are so classified in terms of their overall emphasis.
It is my intent that any story contributor might be encouraged to post their stories in one or more of these links, with a summary comment about why they chose that link. Those comments are important to the whole purpose of Relighting Us, in that they share and show experienced ways at how to live in the best possible way. We will all benefit.
It’s a win-win deal…