This is a story of a quilt and its gift of an ability to help emerge from the numbness of darkness. To leave a place of isolation. To bury anger. To serve again.
Service is the key.
Service is a mighty word. It is another word for Love. Denial is a mighty word as well. It masks what is real. What is good. What is anything!
Denial is a baseless word. Yet we involve ourselves in its meaning. A meaning that is truly meaningless. Because one denies, it doesn’t in any way take away what is being denied. It still exists.
To live in a world of denial is to live in darkness. Everything is still there, but you cannot see it. It haunts you. It controls you. It destroys you. The real you.
The good news is that the real you is always there, and can be seen in the light of reality. The light of truth. The light of compassion. The light of service.
The same light that every Veteran has within himself. The light to see what service is about. About Buddies and brotherhood. Buddies is the name for your brothers and sisters who serve.
And, whom do they serve?
You know who. When the chips are down they have your back. When you are having fun, they drink beer with you. They are there for you, and just as important, you are there for them. Service is an exchange. A two-way street.
When your Buddy is down, who does he or she look to? Who do you look to?
Let’s shift gears and talk about what we did, and why. Talk about losses and gains. Talk about everything concerned with war. War is conflict. Conflict never ends well. No one wins. Everyone loses. There is no denial there. Conflict of any kind is a losing situation. The reality of conflict is that many times it will occur. Wars happen. No one can justify all the reasons, but it happens in the real world.
Good things happen in the real world, too!
Things that can offset the darkness. Things that are also part of one’s service. Things of real accomplishment. Of duty and participation in what is right about what we have done. What deserves thanks. What shouldering the responsibility of serving is about.
Take the wide view. If nobody served where would we be? Think about it! Would we where we are now? Or, would we be worse off? You already know the answer. The people that serve, no matter what the conditions, are deserving. Deserving of respect and gratitude.
Here’s a story of gratitude that goes beyond the speaking of “Thank you for your service.” It goes beyond it in a physical way. A way that has the deep love that is in service. It is the story of a Quilt.
A Quilt with many messages. Honor, warmth, identity, connection, beauty, perseverance, dedication, priority, on and on, far beyond a verbal statement. Most importantly an exchange of love. Gratitude is an exchange of love. It means you are loved. It means you have demonstrated your love.
Love is not darkness. It is all those things in those messages just enumerated. Like a Quilt, love takes effort, time, and commitment. Love is peace. The peace for which we serve.
No Service – No Peace.
“Thank you for your service,” says the Quilt. A visible thank you. Expressed from the heart. Expression is action. Thank you is an expression. It can be expressed in many ways.
All words can be expressed in many ways. Words are what gives or surrenders our power over who we are. Our words are us. They accept or resist the happiness of the peace we seek. We have many ways to express our thanks. Thanks for being who we are and who we are with, in a world we can create with our love. We were created out of love for who we truly are, and we, in turn, can return that gift of love, by being who we truly are. Not by what others, including ourselves, may say we are, but, who we really are.
The Quilt comes with many stories. I shall deal with two here, but, in subsequent Quilt story episodes, many more. First, a story that expresses “Thank you for your service.” The other, a story that goes back into the service involved and finds the reasons for the expressed thanking. That expressive Quilt thus, can come in many forms. The Quilt itself and the written words behind it. Words being the most common and doable. Stories are the reasons for thanking each other.
The Quilt will be explained here. The written words in it are an ongoing process. Some have already been written and posted on “Relighting Us,” a website.
First, the Quilt story.
At the March meeting of the Rochester Veteran’s Writing Group I was presented a most personalized quilt by one of the members. Her name is Sue Spitulnik and her former husband was a Veteran. I am including the picture here with an explanation:
I am standing in the center holding the quilt with Sue at my left.
The quilt featured my WWII – 13th Armored Division patch in the center and was surrounded with circular geometric décor and topped with American Flags. It now graces a place of honor in my den and is enjoyed and its story explained to everyone who sees it.
There is one significant change, however. When Sue presented me with the Quilt she was unable to sew the black chain symbol in the center of the patch and left the space blank.
That chain is a very important part of this story. On the 13th Armored Division patch it represents tank treads. The treads upon which tanks go forward and maneuver. Each tread, like each link in a chain, connects with another to form a track that gives power to the motion of the tank. Motion that moves it from the hazards of isolation and anger, and into the performance of the service for which it was designed.
Each of us are links in that chain. Our service is what makes those chains strong. One broken link and the chain is useless. Each of us has a duty to serve and be a strong link in that chain. We owe it to each other to do our part in keeping that chain strong and functional. That is what service is all about.
For each link there will be times of pain, pressure, and darkness as our tracks proceed through the mud, but we leave a trail of accomplishment printed in the dirt we leave behind. (I have my own validation of that story and have written it in my WWII memoirs). Further, we emerge into the daylight after every time we ascend from our lowest point. Service includes both light and dark, but the justification for our pain and journey through the darkness is the thanks of our fellow sufferers – our Buddies, when we emerge into the light.
Life is both light and darkness, but what makes it all worthwhile is the gratitude of our fellow sufferers. And, yes, everybody suffers. There are no exceptions. What redeems our suffering is how we see and receive it.
If we receive it as service, then “Thank you for your service” is gratefully accepted. In that recognition we too are gratified and honored. The honor of the Quilt I received is expressed in what I wrote to Sue:
“It is very difficult for me to express in words how much I appreciate the care and effort you have you have expressed in the 13th Armored Division quilt. I see in it the message you send to me as a deep and enduring: ‘Thank You for Your Service.’
Proclaimed directly from the Heart. Created laboriously from the Body. Given in honor and Gratitude. Shared in the Spirit. It is in the Spiritual that sincerity is given a voice that goes far beyond just casually speaking: “Thank You for Your Service.” I have a great place of Honor to hang it free on the wall in our family room. A place of Honor, for such an example of deeply expressing gratitude. Indeed, a lesson for all who are looking for ways to show their appreciation for those who put lives on the line for them.
When it all comes to pass, I will share photos of it with my buddies and their families in the 13th Armored Division. That sharing will take place, on my daughter’s and my website: “Relighting Us” and with all of us who tell our stories at the Rochester Veteran’s Writing Group. It is a sharing place for us to express thanks, and gratitude to each other for becoming who we truly are.
Looking forward to seeing you soon.”
With that expression of gratitude, I conclude this version of the Quilt Story. There are many more. Check them out on: relighting.us
By Bob Whelan